Not so long ago in a galaxy not that far away, too many fruitcakes were given as gifts. Four Fruitcake Warriors set out to develop a bold new defense against unwanted fruitcakes. This is their story. Be sure to check back often for more ways to defend yourself against this dreaded holiday creation.
We all know there are certain things that shouldn’t go in a microwave…tin foil, forks, small pets. Nobody said anything about a fruitcake. Watch what happens when Jeremy nukes this brick of fruit and nuts in our 1000 watt oven of fruitcake annihilation. Be sure to check back for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance. Oh, and don’t try this at home!
Since the Chinese invented gunpowder during the Tang Dynasty, one of mankind’s most efficient methods for disposing of unwanted substances has been the explosion. We thought it only fitting that this fruitcake “go out with a bang.” Just remember, don’t try this at home. Be sure to check back often for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance!
How do you like your fruitcake? Well done? Flame broiled? We decided to take it to the next level with over 120,000 BTUs of liquid propane-fueled power. After being re-gifted dozens of times, this fruitcake will harm people no more. Just remember, don’t try this at home. Be sure to check back often for more ways to dispose of this dreaded substance!
Fruitcake fever really has caught on here at Bill Me Later. Four of our own intrepid employees in our IT department decided to see if it was possible to launch a rocket powered fruitcake to the skies. Will it achieve orbit? Will it blow up on the launch pad? Lets find out. Be sure to check back for more fun ways to rid yourself of fruitcake once and for all.
When we rented this 30 horsepower wood chipper, they said it could take down 8 inch logs with no problems. But, could it take down a fruitcake? Jeremy is about to find out. Just don’t try this at home. Be sure to check back often for more fruitcake fatalities.
If you’ve ever received a fruitcake as a gift, we’re sure you’ve had an all-consuming desire to throw it off the top of a 300 foot water tower. Who hasn’t? Luckily for us, last Christmas our friend Justin from North Bay was the unwitting recipient of a fruitcake that has been on the re-gifting circuit since 1974. Well, it’s the end of the line for this little bundle of holiday disappointment. Be sure to check back soon for more from Operation Fruitcake!
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